Friday, September 2, 2011

SAD DEMISE OF MR. HUMOUR








Nasser Hussain calls a couple of Indian fielders DONKEYS.





Catastrophe, Blasphemy, Holy Cow, that’s an utter insult to our Nation. We should get hold of that scoundrel, who does he think he is? A bloody Britisher, even after we drove them out of our country in the most ignominious fashion, his nation has never got over the fact that they no longer rule us.





What Britisher, he is bloody traitor born in Chennai. Bloody M………………beep…beep





BCCI has decided to take this matter very seriously. Some Indian lawyer is going to sue him in the Supreme Court in India as well as in UK. RSS demands that he be extradited immediately and flogged publicly at the freedom park in Bengaluru [after all we have to show to the world, that we are no longer under British rule. Also it was in this city that they managed to draw with us in WC , damn!!].





How can he say such a thing, doesn’t he realise his country is struggling economically and that we are the super-power of tomorrow? Bloody moron. We want an apology from the English cricket board, nah! From the Prime Minister of England. Nah! Nah! That’s not enough we want an apology from the whole nation of England. How the hell can he call our players Donkey?





But wait, I thought that Hussain guy died recently right? Nah! It’s not that Hussain, this guy is a young fella who is a former England cricket captain. That guy was an hippie looking old painter who too was driven into exile by us.





Anyways, this is just in the wake of a privilege motion file by our MP’s against Om Puri for calling them Ganvar & Anpad. Before that it was “Teli ka tel- from Kaminey” right, oh! Wait after that there was also Billu the barber too [you incidentally cannot use the worder barber in India, u see].





Well the Businessweek report on countries went on to confer a lowly 125th rank to us in terms of the happiness index.



Really! How can they give such a lowly rank to the 2nd fastest growing economy in the world, the super power of the 21st century?



You know what those people are nuts, we should ban that magazine for calling us unhappy.





We as a nation cannot tolerate this.





We are the nation that loves BANS, CENSORS & EXILES





For every damn thing that is going to hurt our “SENSIBILITIES” we have already devised our standard operating procedures:





SUE – Err! Isn’t your judiciary, which is massively burdened and is amongst the most painfully slow organisation known to the mankind? so what?





Ok then we will go on





DHARNA or a FAST- stand outside the “perpetrators” house, hurl abuses, shout slogans, burn effigies.





Better still





BEAT THEM INTO EXILE: ypu see we are in a desperate need of physical exercise so this gives us a perfect opportunity to loosen our limbs.





Isn’t it actually quite queer to see that as a nation; Donkey by Hussain, Teli by Gulzar & Ganvar by Puri affects us much more than thousands dead and dying in Bhopal, millions starving in Keonjhar, scores being murdered and abused in Rohtak, lakhs being displaced in Bastar & Nandigram.





Ah! Those are minor & un-newsworthy issues, U don’t understand national pride U IDIOT!!! You are a TRAITOR U don’t understand the sacrifices by the likes of Bhagat Singh to give you your freedom, u have no respect for those soldiers fighting in that god forbidden Siachen to protect you.





Sounds familiar right? What does this show?





We will do anything but to enjoy the frivolity of it and laugh at it ourselves. As we are entering the era of liberalism and free market, which logically as is the case should have meant that we are more tolerant, more objective. But NO, we have decided to take a contrarian view; we as nation will now get upset and enraged with anything that tickles us a tiny wee bit.





You know what has been greatest achievement post independence – The fragility of our ego & sensitivity of our pride! don't u ever forget that.





As a society anything & everything which is said to or about us, which might differ from our idea of liking offends us.





Notice I have refrained from saying “anything that does not amuse us”.





AMUSE??? Err! Hasn’t that word together with its cousin HUMOUR banned from the Indian version of dictionary?





As I have listed out in my earlier listed examples, for whatever we have achieved in the past 64 years, we have killed one thing for sure;





So Rejoice my countrymen coz we have killed that bloody bigot.





THE SENSE OF HUMOUR IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE SENSE OF HUMOUR





P.S- Facebook has decided to disable the POKE option for Indian users, as it has been pointed out to it’s creators that POKING, JESTING or just AMUSING is a sacrilege in India. And will lead to total a ban on Facebook in India.





U have no idea who you are dealing with Zuckerberg

2 comments:

megzamazing said...

great writing. great observation. love your sarcasm.

SAMtugga "The Heretic Soul" said...

Thank u Megha, Appreciation is the real fuel of encouragement for my endeavours